.hangin up the trackies.

In the last few weeks, I have been preparing to go back to work. I have signed up with a recruiting agency, have a daycare centre on standby and even been on an interview (fingers crossed I get it).  But it makes me scared and nervous. Does this mean that someone else will be raising my children? Will I be judged for putting my baby in daycare? 

I 100% respect working mums. They work so hard. Imagine working a 8-9 hour day, and all you want to do is go home, have a nice bath, eat dinner whenever you want, paint your toe nails, maybe apply a tan (that actually sounds familiar, pre-children), but you can’t. You have to then pick up your children from daycare, get home, get all children through the shower/bath, put pj’s on kids, get dinner ready, eat dinner (while watching home and away), make sure your kids eat their dinner, read a bedtime story to them and hopefully put them to bed at a reasonable hour. ALL OF THIS, BEFORE EVEN GETTING OUT OF YOUR WORK CLOTHES.

Yes, I will get a lunch break, a whole hour to myself. Jealous? And I will be able to do grocery shopping on my way to pick them up, by myself. I see all the benefits, I really do. But then I see the downside. I probably won’t be the first one to see Harper take her first steps, I don’t get to spend the whole day in my pyjama’s if I want to, if it’s raining, I can stay inside all day and not even do my hair! And most importantly, I don't get to spend ALL day with my babies. But we want to live a certain lifestyle and we want to give our daughters the best chance, and to live on the beach. I don’t want to be judged because I’m going back to work. Harper will be 8 months by the time I do start work, if I get the job. I see mothers go back to work after only 6 weeks! And I have nothing but the utmost respect for them.

I think putting babies/children into a good daycare instills routine into their life and kids thrive on that. I shouldn’t have to defend why I’m putting my girls into daycare but a lot of people (mainly strangers) give me a look of pity and say “ohhhh why?” then I say “Otherwise, we would have to sell one of the kids to be able to live” I don’t really say that, but wouldn’t it be funny?

I think that if anyone is thinking about going back to work, don’t feel guilty about it. Embrace it. You’ve been on a beautiful journey being pregnant, having the baby and looking after him/her for the best part, the beginning. It’s just time for a different journey. It is now time for me to hang up my daggy mum trackie pants and start earning some money. I’m happy and excited to start helping my husband out with the financial side of things. It excites me that we are starting a new chapter in our lives..

Harly, Harper & me x

.Balancing Act.

I don't know about any other Mum's but I just can't seem to balance everything. My kids need my attention, my husband needs my attention and then at the end of the day, where's my attention?

Take this morning for example: Harper wakes up for a feed at 5:30a.m. I should be thankful that she sleeps through the night, and I am, but the early starts are taking a toll on me. She's up, doesn't go back down and by 6, both Brett and Harly are also awake. I always put my needs last, which is what I agreed to do when I pushed these two little darlings out. So Harper finishes her bottle, Brett changes her then goes off for a surf. So I make myself a coffee. It's starting to become really cold in the mornings so I head up into the attic and grab the heater down. While telling Harly to leave her sister alone and also to not climb up the attic stairs! I get Harls out of her nappy and she goes to the toilet, then I put her undies on and dress her. I make Harly's breakfast and give it to her while she watches cartoons. By the way, I love TV. I don't let the girls watch all the time but in the mornings it is a God sent. And it also allows me to have a shower while Harper sleeps and Harly watches 'The Lion King' or something along those lines.

I sit on the floor and have a bit of a play with the girls. Lately, Harly thinks that Harper can play rough so she throws her about. Sometimes Harper even laughs but usually doesn't like it. We only play for about 20 minutes when Harly starts to really push Harper around. I tell her kindly to please stop a number of times before I send her to her room. When she comes out of her time-out I say "Please don't push your sister" to which she replies "I PUSH YOU" and she does. So back in her room for another 2 minutes!

Harper starts to get a bit grumpy on the floor so make her up a bowl of rice cereal with fruit puree. I also start my coffee. It's not even warm anymore :( I also make myself a bowl of muesli. I usually try to feed Harper and myself at the same time but she gets fed up with waiting that I just put my bowl to the side and keep feeding her. I drink my cold coffee. By this time, Harper's done like 3 poos and she's a bit snotty and tired so I put her in bed. She cries for about 10 minutes and puts herself to sleep. Harly has started asking for things "RIGHT NOW" so I have to deal with her attitude. And Brett's still enjoying his surf. It's only 9 a.m. I still have so much to do!

Harlyn is climbing all over me while I'm typing and wants morning tea already. I'm always needed by my children and that's fine because they can't do things for themselves yet. I clean up after everyone, including Brett and it's everyday! I just want a little break occasionally. And just sometimes, I wish I could just enjoy a hot cup of tea of coffee. Or be able to eat my breakfast, lunch or dinner in ONE go. I know it will be a while before I can enjoy these simple pleasures again but if you're pregnant or thinking of having kids, don't take those things for granted! I can't wait for Mothers Day next Sunday. I'm going to sleep in, have breakfast in bed! And not going to clean for the whole day!!

I also really respect working Mum's!! I can't imagine trying to get all of these things done plus pack their daycare bags, go and work an 8 hour day then without a break, unpack the daycare bags, clean up the house, cook dinner, bath kids and then have time to spend with your husband... I am really lucky and blessed that I can stay at home with the kids and take them to the park. It's not hard, it's just really time consuming. A lot of the time, I wish my house was a hell of a lot cleaner than what it is. I just need another one of me. Can someone please tell me when cloning becomes a real thing?

Harly, Harper & me x