Sunday, July 29, 2012

.in sickness and in health.

On your wedding day you usually say a well known sentence - "in sickness and in health". We all know what it means and saying it out loud really affirms that if your partner were to get sick, you will stay by there side. When you have children, it's a given.

Although you never say it out loud, you know in your heart that you will stay close by your children's side through any sickness they may have. Sure, they may have they occasional cold or gastro or even just a high temperature and you freak out. But I'm sure it's safe to say that if your child has a seizure, you will cry and shake and think the absolute worst.

This happened to me in November 2010. My 13 month old Harlyn had a seizure when I was around at a friends place. I freaked out, started shaking and crying. My dear friend, Caroline, had some brains and called the Ambulance straight away. Her temperatuer was only 38.6 degrees celcius but staying in the hospital for 3 days taught me that my daughter's body can not handle a fast spike in temperature.

Fast forward to this year. My second week of my new job I was called by the childcare and informed that Harper had a temp of 38.5. I panicked, remembering Harlyn's seizure and hoped Harper did not have the same fate. Luckily she didn't, however, whatever she had, she passed on to her sister. Harly has a regular bed and often climbs out of her bed and walks into our room and just climbs into our bed. Luckily, at midnight on the Friday morning, she came into our bed but unfortunately had a seizure. I woke to my daughter next to me, fitting, foaming at the mouth. Immediately I ripped off her pj's and called the ambulance. They came within minutes and I went to the hospital with her. Within 3 hours, we were able to go home. The doctors knew it was her second seizure (it's actually called a febrile convulsion) and because she was up and talking and laughing while she was in the ambulance, they allowed us to head home.

Last Saturday night (July 2012) I had a couple from work come around for dinner. Working for a wine company, we polished off quite a few bottles of wine. I noticed Harly was starting to feel quite warm so I gave her nurofen and kept her shirt off, then put her to bed. When she woke up at 7am she literally felt like a hot water bottle. I jumped out of bed (rather hung over), grabbed her and ran to the kitchen and got some nurofen into her. I was unfortunately too late. She started having another seizure. I grabbed some wet washers and put them over her and calmly called the ambo's. It was the same lady that came for her two weeks earlier. She remembered us and straight away said "this isn't normal, she should get tests done to see what's causing this"

Harlyn stopped fitting for about 5 seconds and went unconscious. We were told it was fine but as I went to pack a bag for the hospital, she started to have another seizure. They gave her a shot of something to try and stop it but she kept going. I started to panic at this stage. I picked her up and ran out to the ambulance, she was still going at this time. In the van on the way, they had to give her another injection in her leg. The siren was even on. I was full blown panicking at this stage.

When we got to the hospital, there were 5 doctors and nurses around her immediately. I was pushed to the side, which was fine, I just wanted her to be ok. They were putting an IV in her arm, taking bloods, giving her oxygen, trying to get her to wake up. It was really full on. She kept showing signs of more seizures but the injections they gave her helped stop them. The doctor checked her out and told me that she will need to have an anti-seizure medication through a drip over half an hour.

Even though we were in the hospital and around doctors and nurses, it was very hard for me. My baby girl was completely unresponsive. She wasn't waking up at all. For the staff, this is normal, they see this all the time. Not me. Seeing my first born baby like this was the most gut-wrenching thing I've ever seen. I was sobbing by her bedside, holding her hand, just talking to her and letting her know that I was right there when she woke up. She didn't wake up for a very long time and it scared me! Even when she did wake up, she kept crying for me even though I was right next to her, she was looking around for me. It was like she didn't even recognise who I was. After a while she became responsive but still went the whole day without speaking. I just kept thinking 'what if the seizure has done something to her brain and she doesn't remember how to speak?'. I know I was thinking the worst but when Harly doesn't speak, I really wonder. She's such a chatterbox.

She's been on dilanton all week to stop seizures and has a temperature all week. Getting as high as 39.8 on a couple of occasions. She is a completely different child on the medication. Acts like she's drunk. I don't want to give her medication everyday of her life. Children don't come with a manual and I felt like I was doing a pretty good job until she had seizures. It is so hard to stay calm when the life that you created is unconscious on a hospital bed. Brett was my rock. He was amazeballs!

So even though we don't say it out loud, of course we take our children in sickness and in health. It's just something I never really thought about until I had to deal with it first hand. I would do anything for my children.

Harly, Harper & me