Step 2: instantly kick yourself in the face for ever be a judgemental twat towards Mothers.
Why is it that non-parents have the most profound opinions on how to raise my child, or how to be a good mum/house wench?
Like, really?
You're really gonna give me advice... On parenting, and house wenching?
Oh you keep plants alive.... Well, it's practically the same.
Do you know how hard it is to vacuum a lounge room while 3 assholes throw cheezels at you? And how long that takes? When you don't have kids to fuck up your lounge room, you really don't appreciate being able to vacuum without picking up 17 socks, ALL the couch cushions and a million ear buds. How easy it used to be for me to vacuum, I miss it. I really took it for granted.
Do you know what I do in the morning before leaving the house? I'm usually the one who doesn't get a shower because everyone else used up the hot water while I'm on Facebook ironing my husbands shirt and making everyone breakfast. I know how easy it was for me, PK (pre-kids) to get up, get myself ready and just leave the fucking house in about 35 minutes. These days, I can't even shovel brekkie into my kids mouths, wash them and dress them in under 1hr 45.
A comedian by the name of Michael McIntyre knows what I'm talking about.
They think they know. Ha. Ha. Ha. If you can't tell, my sarcasm is fierce.
They think they know how 'easy' it is to keep your house clean, your children well groomed and yourself not smelling like mouldy cheese with salada crackers stuck in your hair and bra. You would think that is easy...... It is not.
The food in my car could feed the whole of Sydney for a week. The crumbs under my couch could be the dessert and the wine stains on every single one of my shirts could be the night cap.
Having kids is messy, so fucking what! I refuse to stress about the little things.
You see, my kids want to have fun. They want to run around on the sand for hours then go home, empty out pockets full of sand, eat ice blocks with their sticky fingers and enjoy life. You know why? Because THEY ARE KIDS. We only have 24 hours in a day, we are not super women and if we try to be, we burn out. So please stop pressuring us.
Don't be a judgmental twat. I enjoy my life and my kids. Yes, I wish it was A LOT cleaner but my children are going to look back on life and remember how much they were assholes fun we had at the beach, not how our house smelled like disinfectant everyday. Although that would be nice...
Be a free spirit and love every second with your kids.
And non-parents; please, no more advice. ✌🏼️
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