.my son is an asshole.

My Son Is An Asshole

I want to start off by saying that I love my son very much but, he is an asshole.

 My little dude was born in May last year and man, it was a rough year. Breast feeding was horrendous, I gave it up at 7 weeks for the sake of sleep, my other 2 kids and my sanity. His sleep wasn’t always the best. You see, the girls slept through the night from 5 weeks and 2 weeks old so you can imagine my shock horror when my 15 month old boy STILL DOES NOT SLEEP THROUGH!!! Like, what’s his problem? 

Anyway, everyone told me how affectionate boys are and how much they love their mummy.  Are people tricking me or are they actually serious? I have been slapped in the face by him more times than in my whole 28 years of life. I will often be woken up from a beating of a bottle and sounds of his evil laugh. I’m not allowed to cuddle my husband, Lord help me if I even try to kiss him, I get bitten – multiple times. This kid is ruthless.

It’s like he knows when I drag my tired ass to bed and juuuuust as I drift off to sleep, he screams. Dude, my tubes are tied, it’s not like you’re going to not be the youngest and cutest anymore!

Sometimes I put him in his high chair with about a day’s worth of food and see how long I can keep him in there without him screaming. We haven’t gotten past an hour. I find old mouldy food shoved in places I didn’t even know existed. Sometimes I go into my room to get changed while he’s in the kitchen and before I can even choose a top, he’s slamming my wardrobe door shut – with me in it! I've stuck my hand in the toilet bowl more times than I've changed his nappy! I've already had to buy him 4 tooth brushes because they all end up down the toilet. He hasn't had teeth for longer than 6 months!!

He’s even thrown a cheese grater at me. I’m almost positive that if he ever gets his hands on a knife or any sharp object, he would shank me! I’ve even included a selfie of the 2 of us as he slaps me across the face.

You see, this kid knows what he wants and hates me because I say no sometimes. I will not raise a spoilt little shit who is ungrateful for everything I do. Instead, it looks like I am raising a bully who beats up anyone who says no to his ridiculous demands. I feel like he thinks I’m his bitch assistant and he’s Mariah Carey! And I think from now on, Koa’s name will be Diva.

My other 2 beautiful children can never get sick, oh no, because that would mean I pay attention to them. They could be dying and he wouldn’t even care. I once caught him pushing Harper around, just because she was crying. And please do not put your hair in arms reach of him. I fell asleep on the couch once because I’d been up with him since 5am and he decided to wake me up by throwing a wooden toy at my eye whilst pulling my hair. He is an asshole*

I bet any amount of money that if anyone in your life did everything to you what my son does to me, you would call them an asshole and rid them from your life. And I understand the saying “the straw that broke the camel’s back” now better than ever. Koa is that straw.

Oh and I just want to add that I took a break from writing this to bathe the kids and Koa just chipped his top front 2 teeth. Great, now he'll be able to draw blood with his jagged teeth when he bites me 10 times a day!

*I love my son very much and would not trade him for anything.

.There is no harder than hard.

This post stems from something I watched during the week about how hard it was for a lesbian to come out of the closet. I can't imagine how hard that was for her, I've never done it. She also can't imagine how hard it is for me to handle 3 children full time, because she's never done it.

Let me put it this way: There is no such thing as harder; there is just hard. Her words. I won't take credit for them but I will repeat them.

If and when you're lucky enough to become a mum, you get to meet a bunch of other mums who you probably have nothing in common with, apart from your horror stories of episiotomies (Men should google image that word). There are some really cool down to earth Mum's out there, with whom I am friends with :) Then you have the one-upers. Their stories will ALWAYS BE BETTER THAN YOURS!! Their lives will always be harder than yours and more importantly, their babies are better than yours. Well to that I say bullshit. I unknowingly was one of those Mum's because I just wanted to share my story and I probably wanted sympathy at the time. But the thing is, we're all in the same boat! No one knows my circumstances, doesn't know my life and has not walked a mile in my shoes. But I haven't walked a mile in their shoes either. There is no harder; there is just hard.

Your life is not harder than anyone elses just because you moved out of home at a young age. Or because you're a single Mum to 7 kids. Yes, both of those things are hard but neither is "harder" than the other, it's all relative. If you've had the worst day but a friend calls you up and needs to vent about their day, let them. Don't try and make it about you. Help them, listen to them and be there for them.

Since having my third (and final) baby, I get called super mum or brave for having 3 kids, 4 and under, at home full time with me. "It must be hard" is a statement I often hear. But it's no harder than a single person trying to pay their bills every week or trying to get by week to week. It is hard sometimes, and I do like to have a quick bitch about my hard times occasionally but ya know what? I don't want anyone's pity, I just need to vent.

I guess it just annoys me when people play the victim. I am ashamed to say that I used to. I wanted people's pity but the older I get, the more the pity and that victim mentality annoys me. You have the choice to be positive and I know it's in there, you just have to dig deep to find it. Life is hard sometimes and you can cry about it forever or you can learn from mistakes you may have made, have a quick bitch and move on.

I choose moving on!

And remember: There is no such thing as harder, there is just hard!

Peace x
Harly, Harper, Koa & me