.There is no harder than hard.

This post stems from something I watched during the week about how hard it was for a lesbian to come out of the closet. I can't imagine how hard that was for her, I've never done it. She also can't imagine how hard it is for me to handle 3 children full time, because she's never done it.

Let me put it this way: There is no such thing as harder; there is just hard. Her words. I won't take credit for them but I will repeat them.

If and when you're lucky enough to become a mum, you get to meet a bunch of other mums who you probably have nothing in common with, apart from your horror stories of episiotomies (Men should google image that word). There are some really cool down to earth Mum's out there, with whom I am friends with :) Then you have the one-upers. Their stories will ALWAYS BE BETTER THAN YOURS!! Their lives will always be harder than yours and more importantly, their babies are better than yours. Well to that I say bullshit. I unknowingly was one of those Mum's because I just wanted to share my story and I probably wanted sympathy at the time. But the thing is, we're all in the same boat! No one knows my circumstances, doesn't know my life and has not walked a mile in my shoes. But I haven't walked a mile in their shoes either. There is no harder; there is just hard.

Your life is not harder than anyone elses just because you moved out of home at a young age. Or because you're a single Mum to 7 kids. Yes, both of those things are hard but neither is "harder" than the other, it's all relative. If you've had the worst day but a friend calls you up and needs to vent about their day, let them. Don't try and make it about you. Help them, listen to them and be there for them.

Since having my third (and final) baby, I get called super mum or brave for having 3 kids, 4 and under, at home full time with me. "It must be hard" is a statement I often hear. But it's no harder than a single person trying to pay their bills every week or trying to get by week to week. It is hard sometimes, and I do like to have a quick bitch about my hard times occasionally but ya know what? I don't want anyone's pity, I just need to vent.

I guess it just annoys me when people play the victim. I am ashamed to say that I used to. I wanted people's pity but the older I get, the more the pity and that victim mentality annoys me. You have the choice to be positive and I know it's in there, you just have to dig deep to find it. Life is hard sometimes and you can cry about it forever or you can learn from mistakes you may have made, have a quick bitch and move on.

I choose moving on!

And remember: There is no such thing as harder, there is just hard!

Peace x
Harly, Harper, Koa & me