.hipster wankers.

Now I’m not paying out all hipsters here. Some of you can be quite nice actually, but the majority….. wankers. 

You think you’re too cool to say hi to me? Wanker. You think I’m not cool enough to shop at General Pants? Wanker. You think I’m ‘not cool enough’ to wear chucks? Wanker, I’ve been wearing chuck taylors while you were having your ass wiped by mummy.

I’ve been dressing a certain way since I was young and the only way to describe it is ‘different’. But now, everyone dresses like that and think they’re ‘cool’. Dammit! Tell that to the kids who used to bully me for dressing differently. They probably wear chuck taylors now, wankers… I still remember when I bought my first pair of converse high tops. they were orange and cons weren’t cool enough yet to have them in toddler size for my miniature feet. I did what anyone in my position would do and I got a pair, 2 sizes too big. I went to school the next day and some people liked them but I got a few laughs. Seriously, how does it affect you if I wear orange converse high tops? My life, my choice. Well, now every Tom, Dick and Harry has a pair and they are flying off the shelf 50% off at Paul’s warehouse (I got 2 pairs, thank you very much).

Oversized black reading glasses. Now these bad boys sell WITHOUT PRESCIPTION at sportsgirl… SPORTSGIRL?!!! They are ‘cool’ now. Another thing I was picked on for. I was 15 and I bought a sweet pair of big black (prescription) glasses and again, majority thought I looked stupid. Shame on you. I needed those to see, wanker.

Don’t even get me started on recycling my glass peanut butter jars and using them as cups because I’m a clumsy cluts and smash all my cups. Those things will break your foot if you drop them! Oh and I’m poor, can’t forget that reason. Now they have some shit fancy name – mason jars. Piss off you hipster wankers. STOP STEALING MY UNCOOL STYLE AND THINKING IT’S COOL….

You see, I’m going to turn 29 this year and I’m stuck in some sort of in between young and old realm… My husband tells me I should dress more ‘age appropriate’ … ok, I’ll go buy hideous dresses down to my calves and be depressed with my life. Piss off Brett (Love you) I’ll wear what I want. Maybe next time you take me to a work function I’ll chuck on a pair of Kylie Minogue gold pants, high top converse (obvi) and my black ray ban glasses. I don’t want to grow up – clearly.

And if you bloody hipsters steal one more piece of my style, I’ll pull all of your nose rings out, one by one. Which I took out, because you ALL HAVE IT NOW.

Love to you all….

ps this is just a bit of fun... Dress how you want and feel comfortable!