.10 things mums want for Valentines Day.

I don't celebrate Valentine's Day. But if I did, theses are the things I most definitely want (need).

1. Sleep. 

Uninterrupted sleep.

Glorious sleep.

Naked sleep.

As long as I want sleep.

Fall asleep wherever the hell I want sleep.

The only possible reasons you could wake me up:

• There is a fire you can't put out yourself. In which case, you can pick me up and carry me out, still sleeping.

• The zombie apocalypse is here, because I have been training my whole life for that.

• We won the lotto.

• Channing Tatum AND Ryan Gosling are at the door. Not one, but both.

2. A full day of sweet FA. I want to sit on my couch with Netflix, copious amounts of food and wine. (Oh and to not gain weight from said food)

Every Mums dream. Not even kidding. 

3. A 'get of jail' card, to be used at ANY TIME.

That, my friend, is worth Gold. You can only use it once, you can use it any time you choose, your husband/partner is forbidden to say no and you can go for as long as you like (not overnight though).  

4. A cleaner for a whole day.

Declutter the house, bleach every surface and have this house smelling (and looking) like a hospital. So the kids can fuck it up again within 4 minutes.

5. Someone else to do a week's worth of washing.

And by washing I mean: washing, drying, folding, hanging, putting away.

Do you know how long that shit takes? And you can ask my husband, it is my most hated task of all time. Washing and drying is on par. Folding, I do 50% of the time and putting away, I literally do it 2% of the time. 

6. A massage.

I do not want to pay for it, I want it from my husband. Not a 5 minute massage that you try and turn into sex massage. Not a half assed massage that you do for 3 minutes then go back to your phone.

I want a half an hour massage. 

7. A bath.

With candles, music, essential oils and no children. I want to sing my lungs out to Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody while bathing, over and over again. I want to do the air guitar solo and maybe have some me time (if ya know what I mean).

8. Diamonds.

Let's be honest. 

9. New kitchenware.

I am not 'mumsy' in the slightest, except for when it comes to kitchenware. You get me any type of cooking utensil or dish and I can be the mumsiest mum you've ever seen. That shit gets me more excited than diamonds.

10. Socks and undies.

Tell me one person who does not love being gifted with something they always have to buy themselves? 

So there you have it men. And women, obviously you don't need to get your men anything because we live in a sexist world where V day is all about the V. 

Get it?

You, me + 3