.10 things you thought you'd never say.

The title kinda speaks for itself for this one. All of these phrases have actually been said (out loud) by myself or my husband:

1. Don't stab me with Elsa 

I am so sick of Frozen, but to be stabbed by the Ice (crack head) Queen herself was just insulting. I had to let it go - hey... see what I did there??

2. Don't pour wee on my back

My asshole son peed in a potty then well, you know, poured it on my back. 

3. Stop playing in your poo

I have had to say this more than once, can you believe it?

4. Don't put your butt on your sister

Also another one I have to repeat - what is wrong with these kids?

5. Don't laugh at your brothers willy

He may not care now, but he will. Trust me, they don't like it when you laugh (or point) 

6. Don't poke your brothers willy..

Really? 

7. Don't wipe your snot on my crotch.

Do you know how many times I have been in public and noticed the beautiful mucus stain right at my lady parts?

8. Leave my boobies alone (usually followed by) stop slapping my boobies

Just don't.

9. Don't bite my armpit.

I have no words

10. Don't poke my armpit with Olaf.

Fuck you Frozen!

I also can't wait to tell you all the things you thought you'd never hear....

sneak peak:

I can't wait for you to die Mummy so I can hang out with Daddy. Said by my darling bitch 5 year old :)

over and out!!

You, Me + 3