So, without further a due, here are: 20 things I miss since having kids.
(Everything.... I miss everything)
1. Obviously the first thing is the hairdressers.
I have to co-ordinate a time with my husband so he can watch the kids, he works Saturdays so I'm screwed. AND THEN I have to ask for like $400. I gave up and started cutting and colouring my own hair.
But I do miss that glorious head massage with a basin wash.
2. Walking.
Sounds stupid right? Have you ever walked ANYWHERE with a 5, 3 and 2 year old? I'd rather chew glass.
3. Waking up like a normal human being. It's like a switch goes off when you have babies, and you will NEVER wake up like a normal human again. I have been woken up by: crying, being licked on the face, being jumped on, a bottle to the face (thanks for the black eye), an iPad to the face (thanks for another black eye), fighting etc.... And that's just from my husband.... (Lol JKS)
4. Wearing white.
I still try to occasionally wear it. I am quickly reminded why I should not. Usually because I spill red wine on myself.
5. Silence.
My life is constant noise. I really miss being alone with my thoughts.
6. My perky D cups.
My husband misses those bad boys more than I do. Now they're just sad saggy cups that clap when I run. At least it sounds like someone is cheering.
7. Lazy Hangovers.
Oh em motherfuckin gee. Have you ever been so hungover with 3 kids that you have to pretend you have a virus? No? Yeah, me either..... I just wanna watch dvd's ALL DAY, but they 'need' food and other boring things.
8. Playing guitar.
If you knew me prior to children, you knew that I played guitar ALL THE TIME. You know where my guitar lives now? Collecting dust in my garage; and it makes me sad. Ps I've tried to play it around the kids but they just annoy the shit out of me when they hold the strings.
9. Grocery shopping.
I never stray from my online grocery shop but I ALWAYS forget stuff! If I go down every isle, I don't forget - but I also spend $200 more.
10. Leaving anywhere.
You know how easy it is to leave a place by yourself? You just walk out the fucking door! Leaving with my kids...? Takes at least an hour. I have to bribe my kids to leave ANYWHERE. Every. Single. Feckin. Time. And they don't forget. Oh no, they're at that age where they'll remind you, constantly.... Until you cave; or drive off a cliff.
11. Doing a poo without a child asking to see it.
Childless people - THIS SHIT ACTUALLY HAPPENS (pun intended). You can't drop a nugget without one, if not all kids, asking to see it or asking if you know how to wipe properly.
12. Anytime Sex
Not gonna lie.... Our bedroom door locks..... We've had a sneaky sesh while cartoons are on, on more than one occasion.
13. Date night with my husband.
We have no family around so date nights only happen when we have family visiting. And that's not often enough.
14. Cleaning my house and it STAYING CLEAN.
I just want my house to stay clean for longer than 17 minutes. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?
15. Being lazy.
I still attempt to be lazy, but then get pissed off because no one else does any house work.
16. Listening to ANYTHING BUT FROZEN!!!!
Let it gooooooooo
She is wearing frozen dress and boots.
17. Adult interaction.
I just want to have a normal conversation with an adult. And not have to negotiate with satan (aka toddlers).
18. Having a wide open schedule.
What do you wanna do today? Oh I dunno, whatever the fuck we want....
(My husband came up with this one)
19. Going out for dinner.
Not the same as date night.... Try going out to dinner WITH your kids. Last time we tried, my second child was 5 days old, I was as fat as a house and there was a table of about 19 cool 20 something year olds and I was so anxious about breast feeding that I literally left without eating anything.
20. Drum roll please.......
I miss an UNINTERRUPTED FULL NIGHTS SLEEP.
If you can't tell, it's been a while. I also miss space in my own bed.
What are some things you miss?
You, me + 3
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