.mum life - part 1.

You know you're a Mum when:

You willingly leave the house with snot smeared on your crotch (at least it looks like you've had some action ;-))

#mumlife

You know you're a Mum when:

You pick a human turd up off the floor with your BARE HAND, just so your baby doesn't get to it before you grab the toilet paper. Even though it's only 2 steps away - he'll still beat you to it.

#mumlife

You know you're a Mum when:

Your breakfast is a piece of half eaten vegemite toast and 2 bites of the last apple. Obviously, when you're nice and offer your child the last apple, it's disgusting and how could you dare? But when you eat the last apple...? How could YOU DARE...? 

#mumlife

You know you're a Mum when:

You get excited when you hear the wiggles are in town but don't even bat an eyelid when Pink is in town.

#mumlife

You know you're a Mum when:

You smell someone's butt to check if they've done a shit.

#mumlife

You know you're a Mum when:

You clap and shout 'YAY!' while watching someone take a dump.

#mumlife

You know you're a Mum when:

Your shower looks like a barbie orgy

You know you're a Mum when:

You have a designated cardy sleeve to wipe snot with.

#mumlife

You know you're a Mum when:

You don't want to move because your kids have been asleep on you for an hour but you'd rather be uncomfortable than risk waking them. (My favourite)

#mumlife

You know you're a Mum when:

After putting kids down to nap, you sit and relax on the couch, only to realise that you have been watching Peppa Pig, Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom and Playschool for 40 minutes and actually enjoyed it. 

#mumlife

Can't wait to bring you part 2.

You, me + 3