I saw an article this week called '20 things you should be doing for hubby on a regular basis'. You know those ones that are like 'don't talk about him behind his back', 'let him do his hobbies' and 'go get him tampons when he has man flu', ya know, that stuff. I haven't really come across one of the opposite agenda so, I decided to write my own....
20 things your husband should do for you:
1. He should always tell you you're beautiful!
Even if you look like smashed crab crossed with a whale, we need to hear that shit. Am I right ladies?
2. He should praise your cooking.
Sometimes, we know we fucked up and the dinner tastes like ass; but we don't want to be reminded. Tell us it's the best freaking dinner you've ever had...
3. Can they not call period week 'blowjob week'?
Am I right ladies? Our uterus is falling out of our bodies, our skin is hiddy, and the bloating makes us look and feel 4 months pregnant again. We don't feel attractive and we just want to cuddle a hot water bottle; so piss off!
4. Get off their bloody phones!
I have nothing else to say. It's annoying as shit. Just pay attention to your wife.
5. He shouldn't mention how untidy the house is.
We've been cleaning the house all day for it to be this messy.... The kids are alive and fed, he should be happy.
6. Cook for you every once in a while.
My two favourite things in this world are my husband and food - not particularly in that order. There is nothing sexier in this world than watching my husband cook me food.
7. Bring us chocolate and wine for no reason.
This will make us happy beyond belief. I don't even care if there's an ulterior motive, I got my chocolate and wine.
8. NEVER comment on how much wine we've had.
Just don't, ok?
9. Top up our empty wine glass.
We will love you forever.
10. Encourage that we also have hobbies.
We also need an outlet. The alternative is nagging you, so....?
11. Bake us cookies.
We like cookies too, bake them for US once in a while.
12. Help clean our poop while we're giving birth.
Ok, my husband came up with this one and I would not have even thought about it... But... I shat like a lady on a laxative whilst giving birth and he wiped it away without saying a word. A WORD.
13. Go and buy us tampons.
We have to buy that shit every damn month. Do you know how expensive it is....?
14. Tell us 'you can have a sleep in tomorrow' THE NIGHT BEFORE!
Not the next morning when we're already awake. Tell us the night before so we can ACTUALLY sleep in, not hear the kids tear the house apart while you're on fb on the couch...
15. Give us random lump sums of cash for no reason.
No explanation needed.
16. Don't perve on other girls while we're around (unless we point them out)
We see that perky 22 year old girl. We used to BE that girl. Quit eye banging her.
17. Encourage girl nights.
Sometimes, we just want to hang out with girlfriends, do our nails, drink red wine (obvi) and watch Sex and the City. All night long!
18. Make us smile.
Every now and then, my husband sends me a text of a love heart.... It makes me smile and makes me fall even more in love with him.
19. Bring us coffee in the morning.
Mine gets delivered to me - in bed.... You jelly?
20. Love us unconditionally.
We know we're crazy but just love us.... We're crazy because we want to be the best person we can be. Oh, and hormones (always blame the hormones)
Peace and love to all
You, me + 3
No comments:
Post a Comment